Today was a big day....I got to go to the Library(with Tom holding my arm the whole time) and then the bank and to the gas station. As I was sitting in the car at the gas station a song come on the radio off my mix CD we were listening to called What do I know of Holy by Addison Road.
This is the song with the words
As I was sitting in the car when Tom was pumping gas this song just really touched my heart, and really made me think What do I know of holy. How many times do I make a promise to God and always giving him everything in my life, but all I do is talk all the time, and how I tell people how big God is in my life but is he really that big? Have I really kept my promise to him? How big is God in my life or is he so small...One of the things she says is If You touched my face would I know You? Looked into my eyes could I behold You? What do I know of You Who spoke me into motion? Where have I even stood But the shore along Your ocean? Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful? What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
For me I would have to say some days I know of Holy. Some days I can feel God so Strong in my life. The days were I'm not scared of everything and I know he is with me. Then there are the day that I feel like I talk to much and I have lost the knowing of Holy. The days when satin just knows how to work me and make me feel like everything in my life is hopeless. I look at things like not having money to be able to take care of myself, the hard time I'm having with my husband, My husbands family and how they have kicked me out of their life, How I can't have kids and how badly I want to have my own family, How I have no money so Tom and I can't live on our own. What do I know of Holy? What do I know of Holy? What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame? And a God who gave life "its" name? What do I know of Holy? Of the One who the angels praise? All creation knows Your name On earth and heaven above What do I know of this love? How can I feel this way or think this. I know that Satin can get to me more when I think I know everything another part in her said says it perfect. I guess I thought that I had figured You out I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about How You were mighty to save Those were only empty words on a page Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knee.
That song really makes me think about what Jesus has done for me. How even when I'm a shamed that I have doubts about if he is still here with me its OK because Jesus is holy and he is always with me. He is the one that gave me life and that all creation knows his name. I'm so thankful for the healing power of Jesus Christ and how he forgives me even when I think he is to small and I talk to much.
One of my resolution's for this year is to grasp most of God so far I have done more talking then doing....I need to know more Holy. When I'm having days of doubt I need to drop down to my knee and stop talking. I praise God and everything he has given me. My Parents...If you have never meet Don or Connie they are 2 of the best most caring and giving people you could ever meet, My husband this is a man that for 5 years I have never really let into my life, never really trusted with my heart because I'm so scared that he will hurt me and all I have done is hurt our relationship more, for Logan(my step son) I know he is not my real blood child but he helps fill the spot that I have in my heat for being a mom, I also thank God so much for my Youth Group kids...If you have never worked with Teens they are the best thing you could have in your life. I thank God for loving me even when I don't deserve to be loved.
I hope that you will get to know more of Holy that is all God wants for you. He wants you to know that he made you in his image and that he loves you.
Till Next Time....
2 comments:
Dear Erin,
I was really honored that you would share your heart with me through this email. I can see that a very Holy God is working in your heart and for that matter my heart too. It is hard to respond to all that you have said in this email but I wanted to you to know that you are very much loved by God and by me. You are a treasure that God loves.
I did a study once on the Holiness of God. It was one of the most important studies I think I have ever done because it began to help me understand more clearly the Holiness of God. At this point in my life God is bringing me back to look at it again because without a clearer view of who God is we can't have a clearer view of who we are and what our purpose is.
It would be a great study for us all to do together if anyone is interested and has a VCR. It is a video series that I have but it is old. Let me know what you think and maybe we could revitalize our Tuesday night get together and study the Holiness of God.
In the mean time if you read Isaiah 6:1-7.
1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. 2 Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one cried to another and said:“ Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!” 4 And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.5 So I said: “ Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts.” 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. 7 And he touched my mouth with it, and said: “ Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged.”
For us, through God’s Word by His Holy Spirit we see God in His Holiness; we see Jesus. Like Isaiah we must be undone. We must fall before Him and confess our sinfulness as God reveals it to us. You are right to say that you talk too much. We all talk too much and we very often speak in error or with wrong motives. We must be humbled and speak out of hearts filled with God’s words. Jesus said But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean';... Praise God for the Blood of Christ which brings us cleansing.
Thanks again for sharing. I hope I wasn’t to preachy.
Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!
Chris
Erin- That was just what I needed to hear today! That too was meant for me. God is so awesome how He works. I know we both grew up knowing God but never really "knowing" what holy is! That was truly a blessing for me, and I am sorry we have not been in contact as much as we should be. Give me the best time of day to call you. The days seem to be the best right now for me. I love you so much and miss you. Tell the family I say hi and I will call you soon.
Lorrie
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